K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
