Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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