How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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