I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
