Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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