Hey man sorry I got all grabby
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
