You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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