My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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