Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize