grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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