I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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