I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
too bad you live with your parents still
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
