Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just pee around me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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