please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
