I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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