Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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