Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
