Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
