Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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