Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
