my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
