And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
