Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize