She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
