He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
