There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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