He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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