I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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