she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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