i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
