Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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