I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
