Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
