When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
