he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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