he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
