he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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