Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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