I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
