Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
