She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Its about making memories worth repressing
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
