Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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