I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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