Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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