Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This is the high leading the old right now
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize