He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize