There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
