I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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