I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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