Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
