just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
