I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
