I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
