is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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