you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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