the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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