And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
MIDGETS
????
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
