I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
