"it" just moved
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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