I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
