so explain again why im purple
no
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
