No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize