Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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