in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
