he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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