Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
