in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
