Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize