Can Purell be used as lube?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
