if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
