And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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