Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
