Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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