I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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