I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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